Fix’d my car… ‘days that my my car is working’ i’ll reset the clock. 0 days
Best friend is going to see 30 seconds to Mars; i’m going to work. envy envy envy. even free pizza can’t make up for that.
What gives Canada? First Nickelback, now Beiber? You used to be cool man.
Ok i've calmed down.
Needless to say this was the most interesting night of my life.
Dane Cook: Can I have a Coke?
Waitress: Err...is Pepsi ok?
Dane Cook: I don't know is monopoly money ok?
Just saw inception with mah buddies
It’s awesome go see it.
Replace one part of your tumblr name with vagina.
burnedoutinajarr: katelynnxkreeper: waterspider: lovemetoinfinity: emcoco: succulentaddiction: a-letter-that-you-never-read: lovemesuperman: xmoonlightdreamsx: woundeddreamer: extraordinaryrendition: anythinggoess: getthisshitoffmydash: -besitos: yourlovelylies: intothe-airwaves: Intothe-vagina yourlovelyvagina -vagina GETTHISSHITOFFMYVAGINA. ...
Joketeller: Ok, there's this guy in a bar, sitting at the bar, just looking at his drink. He sits, staring at his drink for over half-an-hour, not talking and barely moving. Then, a big macho guy who has been playing pool takes notice of our friend at ...the bar, noticing our friend just staring at his drink for a long time. This is driving Mr. macho crazy so he walks up to the bar, grabs the drink and chugs it right down. The poor man who has been sitting at the bar starts crying.
Mr.Macho: - "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying".
Guy at the bar: - "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep this morning and go late to my office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I leave the building and go to my car, I found out it was stolen. And the police say they can do nothing to find my car. I get a cab to return home, and after I get out of the cab, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards in the cab. I run after the cab driver who just laughs and drives away. I get home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home and end up at this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison!"
Want to make any song awesome? add cowbell →
Just found this website. It’s pretty funny, you can upload a song and insert ‘cowbell sounds’ into the song
fmylife: Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him “How is the weather up there?” He then turned around, spat on me, and replied “Raining.” FML
My family own a Vuvuzela.
I have been informed that whenever the vuvuzela is blown it’s dinner time. MLIA
Best week of my holidays. I’ll get pictures up soon hopefully.
NO LONGER A TEENAGER and I feel fine…